Talking about proxies should not feel like negotiating a treaty.
Most Commander groups are made up of friends, regulars, or familiar faces at a local game store. People are there to relax, play weird cards, show off pet decks, and argue about whether someone’s “casual” deck is secretly a monster. Proxies can fit perfectly into that kind of environment, but only when everyone knows what is happening and agrees to it.
The problem is that people often bring up proxies in the most uncomfortable way possible.
They either show up with a fully proxied deck and hope nobody notices, or they apologize too much, or they over-explain the price of every card. Sometimes they make it sound like the table has to accept proxies or they are being elitist. Other times, someone against proxies acts like every printed substitute card is a counterfeit scam waiting to happen.
The better path is simple: talk like a person.
This guide is about how to talk to your playgroup about proxies in a normal, honest, low-drama way. Whether you want to test a deck, avoid buying expensive lands, try cards before committing, or set a proxy limit for the whole group, the conversation usually goes better when you are clear, respectful, and specific.
Start With The Real Reason
Before you ask your group about proxies, know what you are actually asking for.
There is a big difference between these three statements:
“I want to test a deck before buying it.”
“I cannot afford all the lands and staples this deck wants.”
“I want to proxy every expensive card so I can build the most powerful version possible.”
None of those are automatically wrong in a casual setting, but they are different conversations. Your group may be totally fine with one and hesitant about another.
The more honest you are about the reason, the easier it is for everyone else to respond fairly.
A good proxy conversation usually starts with one of these basic explanations:
“I want to test this deck before spending money on it.”
“I own one copy of this card, but I do not want to move it between decks constantly.”
“I want the deck to function, but I cannot justify spending hundreds of dollars on lands.”
“I am trying to keep up with the group’s power level without blowing my budget.”
“I want to try a silly theme deck and do not want to buy every card until I know it is fun.”
Those are reasonable, human explanations. They do not sound like you are trying to trick anyone. They also do not put pressure on the group to accept everything automatically.
Script: “I Want To Test This Deck”
This is probably the easiest proxy conversation to have. Most players understand the idea of testing a deck before buying all the cards.
You might say:
“Hey, before we start, I have a few proxies in this deck because I’m testing the list. If the deck is fun and I keep it together, I’ll probably buy or trade for more of the cards later. Is everyone okay with that?”
That works because it answers the obvious questions right away. You are saying how many proxies there are, why they are there, and what your intention is.
For a more casual friend group, you could say:
“I’m trying out this Commander deck tonight, but I did not want to buy the whole thing before knowing if it actually works. There are some test proxies in here. Nothing is meant to be sneaky. Cool if I run it?”
If the deck is high power, say that too:
“This list is stronger than my usual decks, and some of the expensive cards are proxied for testing. I’m happy to switch decks if it feels too much for the table.”
That last sentence matters. It shows that you are not just asking whether the physical cards are okay. You are also respecting the play experience.
Script: “I Can’t Afford These Lands”
Mana bases are one of the most common proxy pain points.
A deck can be much more enjoyable when it has good fixing, but nobody wants to feel like they need to spend hundreds or thousands of dollars just to make their casual Commander deck run smoothly. Fetch lands, shock lands, triomes, old dual lands, and premium utility lands can create a huge gap between players who have deep collections and players who do not.
A good way to bring this up is directly:
“I want this deck to play smoothly, but I can’t afford the full mana base. A few of the lands are proxies so the deck can actually function. They are not there to make the deck cEDH or anything. Is that okay?”
This frames the issue correctly. You are not saying, “I deserve every expensive card.” You are saying, “I want the deck to operate at the same basic level as everyone else’s decks.”
Another version:
“The expensive proxies in this deck are mostly lands. I’m not trying to raise the power level dramatically. I just do not want to get color-screwed every game because I cannot afford the ideal mana base.”
That is a very reasonable thing to say.
Many groups are more accepting of land proxies than spell proxies because lands often make the deck more consistent rather than more explosive. That does not mean every group will agree, but it is a good place to start the conversation.
Script: “Can We Agree On A Proxy Limit?”
Sometimes the problem is not one player. It is that the whole group needs a shared expectation.
One person proxies ten cards. Another proxies half a deck. Someone else shows up with a stack of extremely powerful cards they would never buy. Suddenly nobody knows what the rule is.
That is when it helps to suggest a group standard.
You could say:
“Would it make sense for us to agree on a proxy limit? Not because proxies are bad, but because I think it would help everyone know what is normal for our group.”
That is a calm way to open the conversation. It does not accuse anyone. It does not turn the issue into a moral debate. It just says the group would benefit from clarity.
Then you can suggest a specific rule:
“What if we say up to 10 proxies per deck is fine, as long as they are clearly marked and discussed before the game?”
Or:
“What if proxies are fine for cards we already own, expensive lands, and cards we are testing, but we talk first before proxying fast mana or major power pieces?”
Or:
“What if fully proxied decks are okay for testing nights, but for normal games we keep it to a smaller number?”
The best proxy limit depends on the group. Some tables are fine with unlimited proxies as long as deck power is honest. Other tables prefer a small number. Some only allow proxies for cards the player owns. Some do not care about ownership at all.
The important thing is not finding the universal rule. There is no universal rule. The important thing is making the table expectation clear before people feel blindsided.
Keep The Focus On Power Level, Not Just Price
One of the biggest proxy misunderstandings is that price and power are the same thing.
They are not.
Some expensive cards are expensive because they are old, scarce, collectible, or popular. Some cheap cards are incredibly powerful. A proxied dual land might make a deck smoother, but a cheap combo piece might make the deck much more oppressive.
So when you talk about proxies, do not only talk about money. Talk about power.
A good script:
“I’m less worried about whether a card is proxied and more worried about whether the deck matches the table. Can we talk about the power level more than the price tag?”
That is the heart of healthy proxy etiquette.
A $100 card is not automatically a problem. A $2 card can absolutely be a problem if it enables a fast combo that nobody else is prepared for. Your group should care more about the game experience than whether the physical cardboard is official.
Be Clear That Proxies Are Not Counterfeits
This point matters.
A proxy should not be used to deceive people. It should not be passed off as real. It should not be sold or traded as an authentic Magic card. It should be clear that the card is a substitute for casual play.
If you are using printed proxies from a site like ProxyKing, or making your own test cards at home, the ethical line should be obvious: these are for personal, casual use with table permission. They are not for sanctioned events, resale, or tricking anyone.
A simple way to say this:
“Just to be clear, these are proxies for casual play. I’m not trying to pass them off as real cards, and I would never trade or sell them as authentic.”
That sentence alone can lower a lot of tension. It tells the group that you understand the difference between proxying and counterfeiting.
Do Not Surprise The Table Mid-Game
The worst time to reveal a proxy is when it becomes relevant.
If you cast a powerful card and then casually say, “Oh yeah, that one is proxied,” people may feel like you hid the ball. Even if the card itself would have been fine, the timing can make it feel awkward.
Bring it up before the game starts.
You do not need to list every card in detail unless your group wants that. But you should give people a general idea.
For example:
“Before we shuffle up, this deck has about 12 proxies. Most are lands and a few are cards I’m testing. Nothing is meant to be hidden.”
Or:
“This is a mostly proxied deck because I’m testing the whole list. It is around a seven in power, maybe a little higher if it draws well.”
Or:
“I have three proxies in here: one expensive land, one card I own in another deck, and one card I’m testing.”
This is easy, quick, and respectful.
What To Say If Someone Dislikes Proxies
Not everyone likes proxies. That does not automatically make them unreasonable.
Some players care about collecting. Some have spent years building their decks. Some worry that unlimited proxies will turn every casual table into an arms race. Some have had bad experiences with players using proxies to justify overpowered decks.
Instead of arguing immediately, ask what part bothers them.
You can say:
“That is fair. Is your concern the proxies themselves, or are you worried about the power level?”
That question separates two very different issues.
If they are worried about power, you can offer to adjust:
“Totally understandable. I can play a lower-power deck, or I can take out the proxied fast mana for this pod.”
If they are against proxies on principle, you can still be polite:
“No problem. I do not want it to make the game less fun for you. I can switch decks for this game.”
That may feel disappointing, but it is much better than turning a casual night into a courtroom debate.
You can always revisit the conversation later with the broader group.
What To Say If Someone Abuses Proxies
The other side matters too.
Sometimes a player uses proxies in a way that technically follows the group’s rules but damages the spirit of the table. They proxy every strongest card, claim the deck is casual, then win through the same fast combo every game.
That is not really a proxy problem. That is a power-level and communication problem.
You might say:
“I do not mind proxies, but this deck feels a lot stronger than what we talked about. Can we either match that power level next game or bring this one down a bit?”
Or:
“The issue is not that the cards are proxied. The issue is that the deck is playing way above the rest of the table.”
That keeps the conversation fair. You are not attacking proxies as a category. You are talking about the actual play experience.
Proxy Rules Your Group Might Consider
Every playgroup is different, but here are some reasonable proxy policies to discuss.
The Testing Rule
Proxies are allowed for cards you are testing before buying, trading for, or cutting from the deck.
This is great for players who like brewing. It avoids wasting money on cards that may not even stay in the list.
The Owned-Copy Rule
You can proxy a card if you already own at least one real copy.
This helps players avoid constantly moving cards between decks. It is popular with staples like Sol Ring variants, shock lands, fetch lands, tutors, and expensive Commander pieces.
The Budget Relief Rule
Proxies are allowed for expensive cards that help the deck function, especially lands.
This rule is useful when the group wants players to build fun decks without requiring everyone to have the same budget.
The Proxy Limit Rule
Each deck can have a set number of proxies, such as 5, 10, 15, or 20.
This is simple and easy to enforce, though it does not always account for power level. Ten harmless lands and ten high-power combo pieces are not the same thing.
The Power-Level Rule
Any number of proxies is allowed as long as the deck matches the agreed power level.
This is the most flexible rule, but it requires mature communication. It works best in groups that already talk honestly about deck strength.
The No-Deception Rule
All proxies must be clearly distinguishable from real cards and cannot be sold, traded, or represented as authentic.
This rule should be non-negotiable.
A Simple Group Conversation Template
If your group has never really discussed proxies before, here is a simple message you can send in a group chat:
“Hey, I wanted to ask how everyone feels about proxies. I think they can be helpful for testing decks, filling out expensive mana bases, and avoiding buying cards before we know they are fun. I also think we should be clear that proxies should not be used to deceive anyone or push decks way above the table’s power level. Would people be open to a rule like 10–15 proxies per deck, or maybe proxies allowed as long as we discuss power level before games?”
That message is direct without being pushy. It gives examples. It invites discussion. It also makes it clear that you care about the table, not just your own deck.
A Pre-Game Proxy Check Script
Here is a quick version you can use before a game:
“Before we start, this deck has a handful of proxies. They are mostly lands and a couple of cards I’m testing. The deck is meant to be around mid-power. Is everyone good with that?”
That is usually enough.
If you are playing with strangers, add a little more detail:
“I know different groups have different proxy rules, so I wanted to mention it before we play. I have about 10 proxies in this deck. They are clearly not real cards, and I’m only using them for casual games. If that is not okay here, I can switch decks.”
That kind of honesty is hard to get mad at.
The Best Proxy Conversations Are Really About Trust
At the end of the day, proxies are not just about cardboard. They are about trust.
Can your group trust you to describe your deck honestly?
Can they trust you not to use proxies to secretly escalate the arms race?
Can you trust them not to gatekeep fun behind card prices?
Can everyone talk about expectations without taking it personally?
That is the real goal.
A healthy proxy conversation does not need to be dramatic. You do not need a manifesto. You do not need to justify every financial decision you have ever made. You just need to be honest about what you are using, why you are using it, and how strong the deck is supposed to be.
The best version sounds something like this:
“I want to play fun games with you all. Proxies help me test decks and avoid spending money I do not need to spend. I’m not trying to deceive anyone, and I’m happy to match the table’s power level. What proxy rules feel fair for our group?”
That is the conversation.
Not defensive. Not demanding. Just clear, respectful, and focused on better games.